The Paga Diaries (11) by Arizona Wanderer: ‘Use of Penny’

 

Trem and I went down the wide stepped central staircase of the Feasting Tarn.  I had a few questions in my mind about what had happened with the altercation we had just left on the rooftop lounge.  As we walked he muttered something about going somewhere to talk.  When we got to the first floor of the tavern, he led us off the staircase and into the busy tavern area.  There was a lot of hustle and bustle of tavern activities that we walked through before he found us a small unoccupied table, that we sat at. 

 

“Rykart, it looks like your treatment has gone well,” Trem finally said.  I felt like he was trying to talk about something other than what had just happened. 

 

“Thank you Trem, one treatment then stabilize,” I said.  “Neris is who? Man I hit is who?”

 

 “Yes, yes” He said. “Neris and Otho, I owe money and they are sent to collect it.”

 

“I have money, l pay for you. You pay me later?”  I said.

 

“No, Rykart, I owe them more than you have and some of I what I owe them is not money. You would not understand.”

 

And I didn’t understand.  But I did have a large amount of money; actually I was hoping to get a large amount from my gem collection.  I hadn’t needed to exchange any gems yet for tarsks.  I didn’t know the word for loan, but I was willing to loan Trem some money.  I considered him a friend.

 

“I am confused. I have money. I want to help,” I said.

 

A lovely blond paga slave came to our table and asked us if we wanted paga.  Trem said yes.  A drink sounded really good after being in a fight.  My left hand was sore.  But Mirus had instructed me to avoid alcohol.  One drink couldn’t do too much harm I speculated.  Maybe something small would be okay.  

 

“Ka-la-na,” I said to the lovely blond, trying to pronounce it correctly.

 

“Yes Master,” she said and left.  Trem laughed and said, “Rykart, you don’t come across as a ka-la-na person.”  

 

“Mirus said no drink.  I want drink.  I never had ka-la-na,” I said.  On Earth, I had never shied away from any drink, and I liked pretty much everything.  Of course I had my favourites, but when it came to alcohol, I was usually ready to drink whatever was available and I have always been ready to try anything new. 

 

“How many tarsks do you need?” I asked, trying to resume the conversation.

 

“Neris and Otho wanted six silver tarsks today. I owe them a lot more than that. I don’t have any silver tarsks,” he said.  That seemed like a lot of money to me.  One silver tarsk is worth one hundred copper tarsks and can buy quite a bit in Argentum. 

 

“I get six silver tarsks. You are friend. I want to help,” I said again.

 

“No Rykart, it is too much and this is not your problem. You have already interfered twice now and that only makes my problem worse.  I will handle my debts.”

 

“Take three silver,” I said.

 

Trem tried to ask me if I truly knew the value of a silver tarsk, let alone three or six of them.  I said I did, but I don’t think he was convinced.  I had been given three silver tarsks and over fifty copper tarsks to help me get set up here when I first arrived.  I had been spending the copper tarsks like they were play money, not really thinking about them while I enjoyed shopping in the many areas with various vendors.  The sword was expensive but I still had two silver tarsks remaining.  Trem said it was very common for many men to earn only one silver tarsk a month, maybe two depending on caste and skill.  I wondered how then, he owed so much money to these men, potentially six months of wages. 

 

I told him that I understood and that I still wanted to help by loaning him the money.  I trusted Trem.  I then tried to tell him that I had some gems, but I did not know where to go and sell them.  He told me to ask Mirus about them, that he would know where to go. 

 

Trem finally said that he would accept two silver tarsks from me but was not sure when he would be able to pay him back.  Trem’s friendship was invaluable to me at this time, and if two tarsks would help him stay out of trouble for a bit, it was worth it to me.  I asked if he could teach me to ride a tarn, and he got a big smile on his face and said yes.   I told him that I didn’t have the two tarsks on me but that I would have to return. 

 

The ka-la-na served to me was a white wine.  It was good, not great, and reminded me of a pinot grigio. As much as I wanted another, I stopped at having just one.

 

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It had been a week since I had seen Penny and I wondered if she would be waiting for me as I had tried to arrange with her.  She wasn’t able to commit to meeting me as she was a slave and did not control her whereabouts on any given day.  She said she would try.  I went to our meeting spot at the sixth ahn and she was already there, waiting for me. 

 

She did not recognize me as I approached her.  “Hello Penny,” I said.

 

“Oh, yes! Master, you, you have been cured!” she blurted out as she dropped to her knees before me, the bell on her neck giving a ring.

 

“Stand Penny,” I said. “We find breakfast.”  She was so skinny. When I looked at her I just wanted to feed her.  And I remembered what she said about her Master not feeding her dinner if she did not meet her daily quota.  We found a vendor selling different pies and pastries.  Her bright blue eyes got big when I let her choose which one she wanted.  She picked a sweet pastry while I opted for a meat one.  I enjoyed watching her smile in between bites as she ate. 

 

We started our walking Gorean learning lesson where I pointed things out and she taught me the Gorean names.  It had been a week and I had a lot of questions about words that I wanted to learn.  Penny seemed happy to teach me and she had a natural talent for it.  She was patient.  She giggled when I botched pronunciations.  She encouraged me when I became frustrated with words that sounded alike and coached me with understanding Gorean concepts that were strange to me.  

 

We passed by a building that had some strange items for sale in the open windows.  I asked her what the building was.  She looked up above the building’s doorway at a sign.  She told me it was a leather tannery supply store.  She could read!  I asked her about it.  She told me that most Goreans did not read.  I had known that before but always thought it odd, especially for a civilization over ten thousand years old.  I wondered how she knew how to read; I doubted that many masters taught their slaves how to read.  I asked her about it and she said that she had been of the caste of Scribes before becoming a slave.  Her ever present smile disappeared when she told me that.  I wanted to ask about how she had gone from scribe to slave, but I did not wish to bring up what were probably sad unpleasant memories.  Instead, I asked if she could teach me to read.  This brought back her smile instantly as she agreed to my request. 

 

We found a store with books.  She found a textbook that was designed to teach children to learn to read and I bought it. We went to a small park area and sat on the grass, where she began to use the book to show me the Gorean alphabet.  I really appreciated her gentle, patient and often humorous approach that she took with my lesson.  She seemed genuinely happy, teaching me Gorean.

 

I knew the tenth ahn was approaching and our morning time would be over.  As we walked back to our meeting spot, I asked her if we could meet again tomorrow.  She said no, she would be unavailable tomorrow.

 

“Outside the city you go again?” I asked.

 

“Yes Master. You know about that, Master?”

 

“Yes, you told me before. When I asked before. To see you again,” I said.

 

“Yes Master, I forgot I told you that.”

 

“Your Master owns how many slaves?”  I asked.

 

“Six, Master.”

 

“All of you go where, outside of city?” I asked.

 

“We go to the army camps.”

 

“Why?” I asked.

 

“My Master rents our use to soldiers.”

 

“How many camps are there?” I asked.

 

“I don’t know Master, we have been to four, but they are always different and move around.”

 

“You go how often?” I asked.

 

“I am sorry Master, I am not permitted to talk about going to the camps.  I should not have told you before.  Please don’t tell my Master that I told you. Please, I beg you!”  She said, looking frightened now.

 

“I won’t tell, Penny. Your Master’s name is?” I asked.

 

“His name is Lenious, Master.”

 

“Do you like paga?” I asked, changing the subject.

 

“No Master, I have never had it.” she said.

 

I had her kneel her before me when we got to our meeting spot.  I took five copper tarsk bits from my new pocket and entered them, one at a time, through the slot of the coin box chained to her neck. 

 

“Penny, if I can’t see you tomorrow, when?” I asked.

 

“I don’t know Master, I will try for the day after tomorrow.”

 

“Good. I wish you well,” I said.

 

“Master, may I ask you something?”

 

“Yes, of course,” I said.

 

“You don’t want me Master?”

 

“Yes Penny, day after tomorrow.  You said you try for day after tomorrow,” I said.

 

“Do you not desire me, Master? Do you want me to please you?  Please let Penny please you, Master!”

 

I hesitated and said, “Yes, I desire you.  I want you to please me.”  To me, our relationship had changed.  I respected her and was eager to see her as often as possible to hasten my fluency in Gorean.  There were times through the day when I was drawn to her smile, her happy blue eyes, her firm breasts and slim figure, and I wanted to stop the lesson and find a secluded spot to satisfy my urge.  But as my instructor, feelings of guilt or awkwardness often came immediately after the lustful thoughts about using her sexually.  Even though I was paying her, I considered her tutoring of me a favour.  Today especially, because I felt I had learned a lot and made a breakthrough discovery, finding that she could read and would teach me.  I was confused by the thoughts of her doing me a favour and then me having my way with her. 

 

There was another awkwardness, that of putting her to use outdoors, in public.  Even though I had used her on the street twice now,  I couldn’t get used to it.  And the bell ringing, it was a distraction that didn’t help overcome public inhibitions.  I had plugged its noise before while having her. 

One more factor in my confusion was the whole coin girl, street prostitution practice.  Initially I was sickened by the sight of it and now I had either accepted it or become numb to it by my attraction to her and her ability to teach me Gorean.  By continuing to use her both sexually and intellectually, I was supporting this harsh treatment her master was subjecting her to.

 

I realize these were Earthman sensitivities, and that I should make more of an effort to shed them from my personality.  I wasn’t here to condemn slavery, Gorean customs, or practices, I was here to embrace them and assimilate.  I was on this planet to stay, and become Gorean, fully.

 

“Stand Penny. Heel,” I said.  I then took the short walk to the curved back alley with the stairway at the back of one of the buildings.  She followed close behind me, slightly off to my left side. 

 

“Strip. Kneel,” I said, when we got to the stairway.  She quickly removed her camisk and knelt before me in nadu.  I took her skimpy camisk and wrapped it around her neck, attempting to muffle the bell that I had grown tired of hearing, hours ago.  I lifted my tunic above my hips and stood before her.  I put my hand on the back of her head, grabbing her hair.  I put her mouth to use.

 

When I finished, I let go of her hair and put my tunic down.  I reached for another tarsk bit from my pocket and handed it to her saying, “For your use.”

 

“Thank you, Master.”