Outcast of Gor Chapter Eighteen

“This is a veminia,” said Kulai as she crouched down to pick a colourful, fragrant bloom.

 

“Vem-in-yah,” I said, trying to pronounce the new word.

 

“Vem-in-eeh-ah,” she corrected me as she put the flower petals to my nose. “What does the scent remind you of, beloved?”

 

“Women,” I said. “The lovely scent of women.”

 

Kulai nodded as she rubbed the bloom against the undersides of her wrists. “it is commonly used in many of the loveliest perfumes, and so you will now think of beautiful women whenever you see a veminia flower growing wild.” She held the underside of her left wrist to my nose. I inhaled the subtle trace of the petal scent on her skin. 

 

“No, when I see a veminia flower, I will not simply think of women, I will specifically think of you, Kulai.”

 

She smiled and I couldn’t help but kiss her. She was my Free Companion after all.

 

“One day you will wake up and realise that you love me,” she said, laughing softly. “it will be inevitable.” She touched my nose with her finger. “But until then I shall simply live on your kisses and yearn for the day when you can honestly return the love I bear you.”

 

I really wasn’t worthy of her. 

 

We were travelling along the paved stone road to Corcyrus. Kulai was always ready to point out something new to me, be it a flower, an animal, a bird, a tree, and tell me what the Gorean name for it was. And from time to time when she saw something move in the shrub grass to the side of the road, she would quickly notch an arrow to her short bow, draw back the string and watch carefully, to ensure our safety. Once or twice we saw lone men sitting in the grass, or perhaps two men, and once even three. They seemed to have no reason to be there, watching the road from semi-cover, but perhaps I am being ungenerous, and maybe they simply felt tired and wished to take a break from their journey.

 

Kulai would draw her bow and hold it in a relaxed position with the arrow head pointing down, but the implication was clear – she might raise the bow quickly in an ihn and let loose if a man decided to approach us. By and large the men seemed to respect the presence of her bow, though once or twice they seemed angry, possibly because, although Kulai covered her hair modestly, she did not wear a veil, and one man even cried out that she was a slut. Kulai’s response was to put an arrow suddenly into the ground inches away from where he sat, in warning. It struck between his open legs, close to his groin. I marvelled at how quickly she drew a replacement arrow from her quiver and drew the string back a second time.

 

“Call me a slut again, and I will place my second arrow much closer to your manhood,” she cried. 

 

The man was quick to apologise, calling her, precious Lady, which made her laugh. 

 

“I should perhaps veil you,” I said as we walked on. 

 

“I carry veils with me,” she said. 

 

“Why do you not wear them?”

 

“I have known the warriors in Stannis’s camp for many years. We travelled together back and forth between battlefields. It is an encumbrance and liability to ride and hunt when veiled, so the men have seen my features many times. After a while there seemed little point in concealing my face before them. They are like family now.”

 

“It might be an idea to wear veils now that we have left the safety of the camp.”

 

“I suppose so.” Her eyes sparkled as she gazed up at me. “Are you commanding your Free Woman to veil herself?’

 

“I am. It is for your own safety and to maintain my own good name. What sort of companion would I be if I permitted my woman to walk the highway unveiled? That would be shocking!”

 

She laughed softly. “See, I am making a Gorean out of you! Very good, beloved. You should not permit your Free Companion to act immodestly.”

 

We stopped for ten ehn as she searched in the backpack that Kelsee carried and produced some veils. I watched, curious, as she fixed the veils carefully in place. Now she looked respectable and demure. “Does my veiling meet with your approval, beloved?” she asked. She stood there inviting me to examine her veiling, which I did. A Free Woman relishes her man inspecting her modesty and approving of it. It thrills her to know that he could correct her veiling and admonish her if he finds any trace of immodesty in her dress or demeanour. 

 

“You will wear these veils from now on.” Perhaps it was an indication of how my mind set was slowly changing, but I felt more comfortable knowing that Kulai was now decently veiled. I did not want other men to gaze upon her lips. Those lips were for my pleasure alone. I was beginning to adapt to the Gorean etiquette that required absolute modesty from Free Women. After all, they were not slaves. 

 

“As you command, beloved. So I will obey.” She took my hand as we continued our journey. Kelsee trailed behind, loaded down with our belongings.  

 

We had set out very late in the afternoon, and the parting had been painful for all of us. Rolfe made one last attempt to talk some sense into me, particularly when he saw that Kulai would not abandon me. And he gave me a gift when it became obvious I wouldn’t compromise over Kelsee.

 

“Your spare sword?” I said, in surprise as he handed it to me, complete with the scabbard and shoulder strap. I drew the steel from its sheath and marvelled at how well made it was. This was fine craftsmanship, as you’d expect from a man of the warrior caste. 

 

“Use it only as a last resort,” said Rolfe. “Against a man accustomed to the blade, you will lose. But the fact you now carry one may give him pause to think maybe you are skilled in using it.”

 

“I’m feeling very emotional now,” I said as I clasped him to my chest.

 

“You are a stupid man, Roland, but I hope you do not die from your stupidity.”

 

“We all die eventually. But hopefully not for some time yet.”

 

Rollo and Hergessvar presented me with some food and water and the means with which to light a fire. I felt bad that I had no gifts to give them in return. We clasped hands and said our farewells. 

 

“Return to us when you have learned what the meaning of honour is,” said Rolfe and then he saluted me with a thump of his balled fist against his shoulder. “May your road always be clear.” I returned the gesture and then led Kulai and Kelsee away, and out onto the stone slabbed road. 

 

We passed some war refugees fleeing back towards Argentum. Some of them pushed small hand carts containing belongings, while others walked the road with what little they were able to carry on their backs. I was surprised by how many women I saw travelling without the protection of grown men. They travelled in groups and carried iron shod staves for protection. They were in a hurry to reach the security of a walled inn before the sun began to set. 

 

“Where are their menfolk?” I asked Kulai. She shrugged and replied, “fighting, I suppose. They are fleeing their homes. They have lost everything. Many have children.”

 

I could see a lot of children. They stayed close to their mothers. The boys, even the ones who were perhaps only eight years old, took it upon themselves to act as men. I saw a twelve year old boy carrying a long knife. When he saw me approaching he called out that he would kill me if I tried to take his mother. 

 

“I mean your mother no harm, young warrior,” I said. He held the long knife in an approximation of a fighting stance and told me to circle round from where he protected his mother. I thought of the man some half a pasang back along the road who had called out to Kulai, calling her a slut. The boy would present little challenge to him. 

 

I saw young girls, too young to have bled for the first time, clutching the hands of their mothers or staying close to their brothers. I saw a boy of maybe ten years old, guarding his two older sisters. The girls were maybe thirteen or fourteen, but they deferred meekly and obediently to the younger brother who was tasked with laying down his life if necessary to save them. They followed his orders to the letter and covered their hair and faces with cotton shawls. 

 

There was one woman travelling alone with her young adult daughter. Their garments had once been fine ones, of rich fabrics, but were now torn and dirty. They had no one else to protect them. They both looked terrified as we passed by on the other side of the road, and didn’t relax until we were fifty yards or so away.

 

“They’re easy prey,” I said to Kulai. 

 

She nodded, sadly. “There are men back there waiting for lone travellers like them. We can do nothing, beloved. This is what you will see during war. War is cruel for ordinary people.”

 

I was growing very fond of Kulai. Thinking about it, she was actually the first Gorean Free Woman I had developed a proper relationship with. Slaves will tell you, if they dare, and if they think you will not punish them for speaking so, that Free Women are haughty, arrogant, spoilt, vicious and predatory, and perhaps seen from the perspective of irrevocable bondage, Free Women may appear that way. Certainly it is true that slaves are terrified of them. And it is certainly true that Free Women have little love for slave girls. But I think this is just jealousy. They understand that they are competing on unequal terms with the lovely she-sleens in their collars and brief tunics. They understand that, given the choice, a man will much prefer couching with a slave than with a Free Woman. But Kulai demonstrated the qualities of a Free Woman on Gor – the support, love and respect she gave me was impressive. Yes, I was growing very fond of Kulai. I could have done a lot worse on Earth if I had been looking for a mate. 

 

And she was patient. She knew my feelings were nowhere near the intensity of her own, but she had faith that in time I would come to understand the treasure that had drunk the wine of Free Companionship with me. Was it so unthinkable that I might plan a future with her in Corcyrus? The reality of course was that I was unlikely to ever return to Argentum, and I would never see the love of my life, Miss Felicity Emery, ever again. She would wait as the days rolled by, serving in her paga tavern, recalling my promise of returning to free her, and those words would in time prove to be a lie. She would no doubt hate me for giving her false hope and apparently forgetting about her. I had no way of communicating with Miss Felicity Emery – the hot, passionate slave, now called Fliss – and perhaps my only alternative was to seek a life elsewhere. Kulai wanted me. But then, Kelsee wanted me, too. 

 

Was it at all possible that I could have both those girls? One, a noble Free Woman, the other, a hot, needy slut in a collar? Gor permitted such things, but I had promised Kelsee her freedom.

 

Gorean slavery is of course wrong, but I had observed how natural a slave Kelsee was becoming. She seemed to take such pleasure from being taken as a slave. More than once she had cried out in the throes of her mounting orgasm, that she loved her collar, she loved her bondage. Such reactions, such responses, complicated the matter. Was it truly wrong to enslave a natural slave – a woman who secretly and clearly craved submission to a man? Was this something she could never bring herself to ask for, but dreamt secretly of a man forcing such a state upon her? I didn’t know. Rolfe would have told me that it is cruel to permit a natural slave to be free. They need to be in a collar, serving men, he would say. 

 

I gazed back at the lovely Kelsee. She followed us, laden down with our belongings, most of which were Kulai’s. Where Kulai and I walked lightly along the paved road, Kelsee laboured, feeling the full weight of her burden. 

 

“Do you want to rest for a while?” I asked Kelsee. I took one of the smaller packs belonging to Kulai, to lighten Kelsee’s load. She wiped some sweat from her forehead with the back of her hand. 

 

“Please,” she said. She gazed up at me again with such slave need. 

 

“We will rest to the side of the road once we pass the next corner.”

 

“Master,” said Kelsee softly. “I miss you so much. Please, tonight, could you…”

 

“Kulai is my Free Companion. She will expect to bed down with me. It will be different when we reach Corcyrus. In Corcyrus there will be more opportunity to put you to use.”

 

“But in Corcyrus I will be free,” she whispered.

 

I had forgotten. I had spoken as if her slavery might continue within the city walls. They had been foolish words. I could see Kelsee now doubted I actually was going to free her after all. 

 

“Forgive me, Kelsee,” I whispered back. “Yes, I will be relating to you as a Free Woman in Corcyrus.”

 

“Kulai will not permit you to have a relationship with another Free Woman,” she said softly. “Gorean society does not allow that. You may couch with slaves as much as you want, but when you have a companion, you may only be with one Free Woman.”

 

I knew that, of course. No one would approve of a man who spurned his Free Companion for another Free Woman. That was unthinkable. Free Companionship meant being monogamous, at least as far as Free Women were concerned. 

 

“So, I can only have you as a slave girl.”

 

“It appears so.” She gazed at me with longing.

 

“Yet you will be free.”

 

“It is a problem,” she said, softly.

 

“Can you think of any way round this?”

 

Kelsee was silent. She couldn’t look at me.  

 

“I asked you a question, slave girl,” I said, with a disarming smile.

 

“What do you want me to say? You know I cannot say that!”

 

“In Corcyrus,” I said slowly, measuring my words, “it will be your decision whether that collar is removed from your neck.”

 

“Oh!” she gasped, realising the enormity of my words – that she would have to choose the path of freedom. She would have to turn her back on the sexual pleasure she had experienced from being in bondage. “You can’t ask that of me. You must simply free me! Do not give me a say in the matter.”

 

“It will be your decision, slave girl. You may have robes and veils again, and with them the lofty life of a chaste Free Woman.” And then I said it. “We will not be Free Companioned, Kelsee. I am Free Companioned now to Kulai, and I think…” I smiled to myself. Yes, I knew what I would do now. “I think I may renew this companionship at the expiration of the year.”

 

“No!” she cried. “What of me?”

 

“You will be free. You will have your rich robes and your veils and you will have the freedom of the city to shop, to gossip, to walk the parks and boulevards. You may in time form a relationship with another man – a Gorean man – who will respect and protect you. A man who might take you in Free Companionship, the way I entered into such a thing with Kulai.”

 

“She has stolen you from me! Let me be your Free Companion!”

 

“I cannot do that. I cannot abandon Kulai. I will see to your safety. I will see that you have a good life in Corcyrus.”

 

“Oh, I hate you!” she sobbed. “And I hate her even more. I suppose you would keep me if only I remained in this collar.”

 

“Of course. I would be a fool not to. I desire you so much, Kelsee. You have no idea. But I can only keep you as a slave. There is no other way.”

 

“I hate you! You cannot leave that decision with me! It is too much!”

 

“One other thing, Kelsee, your decision will be final and irrevocable. If you choose to remain in my collar, there will be no going back. I will register you as my kajira. Your state of bondage will be for the whole of your life.”

 

She wept, wrestling with her deepest and innermost thoughts as I returned to my Free Companion. 

 

The sun would be setting soon. I decided we would round the next corner and then step away to the side to find somewhere safe to camp for the night. Kulai would help me build a campfire and shelter and come the morning we would continue on to Corcyrus. Kulai believed we might reach the city in less than five days. It amused me to observe how she knew more or less where we were at all times, while Rolfe and the other men blundered around like drunk sleen, mostly oblivious to their location. 

 

Kulai would teach me much. I would become self-sufficient, competent in matters of wilderness survival, and perhaps Gorean in my thinking. I think it is possible that given time I would grow to love her. 

 

Yes, I could see myself falling in love with Kulai eventually. Was the concept of children really so far-fetched now? She would be a good mother. No, a great mother. 

 

I smiled as I considered that thought. I would never have guessed. I had always looked at the lovely Mishka, when I gazed at the huntresses. But Kulai had been there all that time, watching me with a knowing determination that I would be her man. Sometimes it takes the woman to make the man realise what he is missing. 

 

I saw it as soon as we rounded the corner: a wide expanse of tents, billowing in the wind. It was a medium size camp in the far distance, along the road towards Corcyrus. It was perhaps an ahn or so away. 

 

It was a slaver camp. That much was obvious from the blue and yellow colours of the canvas. It was the slaver camp of Darian Athuk. 

 

The very camp I had sought to avoid. We would have to pass its perimeter on our way to the city of Corcyrus.

 

I heard a scream from behind me. It was Kelsee, her eyes wide, staring in disbelief at first the distant camp, and then at me.

 

“No,” she cried, staggering under the weight of the straps and packs secured to her lovely body. “You ARE taking me to be branded! Oh God, please, please, no!”

 

And then she collapsed, fainting by the side of the road, from a combination of fear, shock and exhaustion.