Outcast of Gor Chapter Twelve

 

A delegation of bold, fierce, lovely huntresses came to see me the next day.

 

“Svetlana,” said Rolfe, trying a bit too hard in my opinion, “it is good to see you this bright morning. Would you care for a refreshing cup of…”

 

“Be quiet, sleen,” said Svetlana, without looking at him. “We are here on important matters.”

 

“Perhaps afterwards?” he suggested.

 

“I will be practising with my bow.”

 

Mishka, Svetlana and Danata sat down opposite me. Mishka was the one who spoke. “I have brought you a ribbon of courtship, Roland of Newark. You are apparently a stranger to these lands, so I thought I should explain how matters now proceed.”

 

“Mishka, look, I think I should…”

 

“There is some ceremony to the binding of Kulai’s hair with the ribbon of courtship. First you must seek her out. She will be hiding from you, but she will have left a trail of white talender petals from the entranceway of our tent. You simply need to follow these discarded petals, and they will lead you to her.”

 

“Mishka, can I just say…”

 

“Then, you will note with surprise that her hair is unbound. She will appear shy and embarrassed that you see her in such a fashion. How brazen of her! Doe she not know a man may now claim her, and bind her hair with a ribbon of courtship? No wonder she hides herself, so. You declare that you have a ribbon of courtship, and that you mean to bind her hair with it. Kulai will of course attempt to flee, but in doing so she will seem to stumble and fall. Instantly you will be upon her and…”

 

“Mishka, please, please, just stop for a moment. Please.”

 

The women all regarded me with suspicious expressions. I could see that Mishka held a ribbon in her hand that she was about to give me.

 

“Look, there has been a misunderstanding. Like you say, I am a stranger to this land. Kulai is wonderful. She really is lovely. She will make for a wonderful companion for some man, but I’m afraid that man isn’t me.”

 

There was silence. All three woman stared at me.

 

“Look, there’s no easy way of saying this, but…”

 

“You reject her?” said Mishka. Her eyes narrowed.

 

“You reject Kulai, after you unbound her hair and ravished her lips?” said Svetlana. She seemed angry. 

 

“I didn’t know,” I said. “Look, she really is lovely, but I simply didn’t know.”

 

Svetlana looked like she was ready to stab me with her skinning knife, but Mishka’s hand quickly gripped her right wrist, steadying it. “To be clear, Roland of Newark, you reject Kulai? You do not plan on courting her?”

 

“I really am sorry. I mean no insult. It was a mistake founded on my ignorance. It’s better she knows right away. I don’t want her to think there is any future. I’ll be leaving soon, with Rolfe and the others. I’m not even staying here. It really is impossible.”

 

I sensed my explanation wasn’t going down very well with these three huntresses, not that I ever expected it to be an easy ride, to begin with. “I’m being honest,” I said. “Better she knows now, rather than later.”

 

“You unbound her hair,” said Mishka, seemingly in pain. “She cannot rebind it.”

 

“Of course she can,” I said. “It’s just a ribbon.” Beside me, now, I felt Rolfe wince, as if embarrassed for me. 

 

“You do not understand Turian ways. What happens now is your fault,” said Mishka as she rose to her feet.  I sensed we wouldn’t be getting another haunch of tabuk tonight. “I was mistaken about you, Roland of Newark. They have little honour in your city, it seems.”

 

Again, I sensed Rolfe and the others strain as they heard those words. My city – its honour had just been impugned. Of course that meant nothing to me. I suppose it would have meant a great deal to Rolfe if the honour of Kassau had been impugned. Goreans are very protective of their Home Stones. 

 

I felt sad as the women walked away. They had left me the ribbon, for all the good it would do now.

 

“You could have handled that better,” said Hergessvar.

 

“Are we still going to get a fish tonight?” asked a worried Rollo. “That last fish was delicious.”

 

“You are my friend,” said Rolfe, as he placed his hand, sadly, on my shoulder, “And I will stand by you, but you have not acted honourably in this matter. I have to say that.”

 

“Fine. I don’t feel great about it, myself. Kulai is a lovely girl, but It was all a misunderstanding. What will happen now? Do I have to worry that Svetlana is going to try and cut my balls off when I’m sleeping? The way she was looking at me…” 

 

“It is probably best you do not venture far from us before we leave. Svetlana may have friends in camp who may wish to accuse you of duplicity in this matter. She may stir their emotions up once they have a belly full of paga.”

 

“I know how to fight,” I said. “Maybe not with a sword, but if they come at me with fists, I can hold my own.”

 

“Good. Good. If it is fists, we cannot help you. A man stands tall, or not at all. But if a sword is drawn, that is a serious matter. We will draw beside you.” 

 

“I’m sorry, Rolfe. I didn’t mean to involve you in any of this. I didn’t mean to hurt Kulai. It was just a kiss.”

 

“You kissed a Free Woman. It is not the same as kissing a slave. Newark must be a strange place, Roland.”

 

“You can say that again.”

 

“In any event, we will take our leave soon. We will continue on the road as far as we can, together. You still wish to travel to Corcyrus? You could remain with us?”

 

“I’m not a mercenary. I’d be a liability fighting beside you. I’ll do better in a city.” I didn’t mention my unspoken promise to free Kelsee from the collar that was locked about her throat. I think they already considered me eccentric at best, but if they knew I was planning on freeing a slave girl, they would think I was completely insane. The more I thought about it, the more I dreaded the day we might finally arrive at Corcyrus; the day I would have to fulfil my promise to her. I would lose her once she was free. I sensed that now. She would feel ashamed of what she had done and how she had acted, once she was back in her robes, gowns, and veils, and my presence would be a constant reminder of her shame. She would turn away from me and strike out for a new life, alone. I had no doubt she would be successful in whatever venture she turned her hand to. Kelsee was a resourceful young woman.  

 

“Are we going to get another fish, tonight?” asked Rollo again.

 

“There will not be another fish tonight or any other night,” said Rolfe, sadly. 

 

The deed was done. It hadn’t gone the way I would have liked. My intention had been to speak to Kulai personally, to explain things, but the arrival of Svetlana, Mishka and Danata had forced my hand. Now Kulai would hear the unwelcome truth from them, not from me. 

 

It made me feel wretched. Breaking up with women is never fun, and in this case we were hardly breaking up, as we hadn’t done more than kiss, but Goreans seemed to see things very differently.

 

“Best to avoid Free Women,” suggested Rollo, later. “At least until you understand how courtship works.”

 

“You’ll be happier with a slave, anyway,” added Rolfe. “Less complicated. And the sex is better.”

 

“Have you ever slept with a Free Woman, Rolfe?” I asked.

 

“Of course. I have had sex with a Free Woman, too.”

 

“That’s, um, what I meant. It’s just a phrase.”

 

“They can be… difficult,” he suggested. 

 

“A woman is surely a woman?”

“Free Women are nothing like slaves. They are a breed apart. All they share is the same sex and their common biology.”

 

“That strikes me as quite a similarity.”

 

“How little you understand Free Women,” said Rolfe, as if I was mentally retarded on the subject. 

 

I spent the next few ahn checking on Kelsee in her kennel pen. It was important to know that I hadn’t forgotten her. And besides which, I enjoyed her company. I sat with her, much to the amusement of the various guards, and we spoke about our lives, our feelings, our hopes, our fears. I reminded her that I would never abandon her. 

 

“You once told me we would never have a relationship.” She often reminded me of that.

 

“I didn’t know you then,” I said. “I didn’t know what a priceless treasure you might become.”

 

I didn’t speak to her of Kulai. It would only complicate matters. But there had already been gossip in the kennel pens. 

 

“Kimi tells me you have been courting one of the huntresses?”

 

“No.” Her information was out of date, it seemed. The gossip hadn’t extended as far as my meeting with Mishka, Svetlana, and Danata. “Kimi is mistaken.”

 

“Is she?” Kelsee smiled as she snuggled beside me. “I’m glad. I was afraid I might lose you to a Gorean Free Companionship.”

 

I smiled as I stroked her hair. She wasn’t Felicity, but she was the next best thing. And I had to face the truth that I might never see Felicity again, now that I was outlawed from Argentum. Perhaps my future might be best served with Kelsee? 

 

“A man is permitted a slave girl as well as a Free Companion,” I said. “In fact, Gorean culture recommends it. They consider it a healthy arrangement.”

 

“You know what I mean,” she said, slapping me playfully on the chest with the palm of her hand. “When we will be in Corcyrus, and I will be free of this collar.” 

 

We spoke in English and in a low voice. It would not to do for Goreans to overhear us. They wouldn’t understand. 

 

“The collar is a beautiful adornment to your neck,” I suggested as I touched it.

 

“It marks me as a slave.”

“And it has lit slave fires in your belly.”

 

“Perhaps.” She gazed up at me. “But I do not have to wear this collar to be with you. We can still have fun.”

 

It wouldn’t be the same. It would never be the same again, once she wore veils and robes. That was obvious to me, and I think, deep down, she probably understood that, too. 

 

“I was thinking,” she said.

 

“Of what?”

 

“When we are in Corcyrus, when I no longer wear this collar…”

 

I didn’t like to think of Kelsee without a collar on her neck. But then I remembered that a Gorean metalsmith would insist on locking a new collar about her neck before removing the old one. I would have the key to the new collar, of course. I could remove it, too, if I wished. 

 

If I wished.

 

“Then, perhaps, if you like…” she smiled again, “we could try Free Companionship for a while? She how things work out?”

 

I didn’t want Kelsee as a Free Companion. I had tasted and experienced her as a slave girl. How could Free Companionship possibly compare?

 

“You see a future for yourself as my Free Companion?”

 

“Why not?” she tossed her hair. “We will still be together. I assume you still want me?”

 

“Yes, I want you,” I said, thinking of her in a slave collar, branded, kneeling in nadu on the tiles before the slave ring on my couch in a Corcyrian apartment, her body dressed erotically in pleasure silk, as I then put her on her back and spread her thighs wide for my use.

 

And, yes, it suddenly occurred to me that my fantasies of Kelsee included a brand on her thigh. I was very much turned on by the idea. Just by the idea, of course. A fantasy is just that. 

 

“Well then, Free Companionship makes sense. And it’s only for a year. If we grow sick of one another, we’re not tied together forever. We can see how it goes. I can set up a business, and you could work for me. With me, I mean. We would work together.”

 

I want you as a slave I thought. As a slave. A beautiful, sensuous, exciting slave girl. Can’t you see, Kelsee, this is how we should be? This is how we complement one another? Not as Free Companions?

 

And there was the inescapable and unavoidable fact staring us both in the face: no one on Gor - not one man, not one woman - would compel me to free Kelsee in Corcyrus. Quite the opposite, in fact. If I chose not to free her, there was absolutely nothing she could do about it. No legal recourse, no opportunity to protest her bondage, nothing. If I chose not to free her, she would remain a slave. The power was absolutely mine. 

 

“Why don’t you say something?” she said. “You’re so quiet.”

 

I had much to think about as I left the kennel compound. Kelsee remained behind, of course, still secured by the long length of chain to her post; still locked inside her steel chastity belt. She was still subject to the discipline of the other kajirae. Her last words to me were a plaintive cry of, “I love you, Master. I love you so much.”

 

Maybe she did. Or maybe it was just the collar talking, and once she was free she would move on.

 

I walked back to where Rolfe and the others were camped. 

 

“Someone looks glum,” remarked Rollo as he stirred a pot containing a lacklustre stew of some root vegetables.

 

“Is that dinner?” I asked.

 

“We do not have a haunch and leg of tabuk today,” said Hergessvar, miserably.

 

“Or a tasty fish,” added Rolfe. 

 

“And how did you manage to survive before you met me and the huntresses?” I asked.

 

“We hunted, ourselves, of course. I suppose we shall have to do so again in time. But tonight we have root vegetable stew!”

 

“Tasty. You do know I’m not going to court a Free Woman just so you can have another fish tonight, yes??”

 

“And I thought he was our friend,” said Hergessvar. 

 

“Friendship and its responsibilities are obviously different in the city of Newark,” said Rolf, sadly. 

 

I couldn’t talk to Rolfe and the other men about my dilemma with Kelsee. It wasn’t something they would understand. They would just tell me to keep her as a slave, and suggest I was a fool to even consider any other possibility. It wasn’t a subject you could talk to a Gorean about. A slave in a collar would always be a slave, end of subject.

 

And then we became aware of a commotion further into the camp. 

 

“Something is occurring,” said Rolfe, as he sprang to his feet.

 

“Battle?” suggested Rollo. He looked towards where their weapons lay. Men were hurrying to the centre of the camp to see what was happening. 

 

“They would sound horns, surely?” said Rolfe. Nevertheless he reached for his own sword scabbard and slung the strap over his shoulder. “Besides, who would be able to sneak up on the encampment of Stannis Assante in broad daylight?” 

 

“Do you have a sword for me?” I asked.

 

“Of course.” Rolfe reached into a pack and produced a spare short sword that he passed over to me, hilt first. He seemed pleased I had asked for a weapon. “If it turns out the camp is under attack, stand shoulder to shoulder with us. Your skill with a blade does not yet match your courage, my friend.” 

 

But we were not under attack. It was actually worse than that.

 

We followed the trail of men and caught sight of the source of the commotion. It was the huntresses. Svetlana led Kulai along a path that snaked between various supply tents. Mishka and Danata followed close behind. Kulai looked miserable. In fact they all looked unhappy with what was about to occur. Kulai no longer wore her hunting garments. She wore instead a plain woollen robe of the kind a low peasant girl might wear if she was serving in the fields. She was barefoot, and her hair remained unbound. Kulai’s wrists were tied together in front of her with a length of rope that stretched to Svetlana’s hand. She was being led by that rope. 

 

“What is going on?” I asked.

 

“I have a bad feeling about this,” said Rolfe as he lingered beside me. 

 

I glanced at the various warriors in the camp. None of them seemed happy to see what was about to occur, but they all came to watch and act as witness to the proceedings. 

 

Kulai was led to a clearing in the camp where she was pushed down onto her knees. I then saw that Mishka was carrying a set of clipping shears – heavy scissors.

 

“They are going to shear her,” said Rolfe. “I have heard of the practice. She will be sheared, like a slave is sheared.”

 

“What?”

 

“She cannot rebind her hair. She is not permitted to do so. They will cut her hair, close to her scalp. It will be her shame until it grows long enough to bind once more. She will not serve as a huntress during that time. She will serve as a camp drudge. She has lost her honour.”

 

“This is insane. She did nothing wrong.”

 

“She did,” said Rolfe. “She offered herself to a man who did not want her. A woman has to be very careful if she chooses to do such a thing.”

 

“This isn’t her fault.”

 

“Things are different in Turia. I do not like this any more than you do. But it is their way. She pays the price for your rejection.”

 

I could see the misery etched in Kulai’s face. It was bad enough that she had learned from her friends that I would not court her. Now she was to be publicly shamed for even having feelings for me. I felt truly wretched, but also angry at such a sick culture that would put her through this.

 

“This is wrong. Kulai is a lovely girl.”

 

Hergessvar nodded. “She gave us a fish. I will not forget that.” 

 

“I do not want to watch this,” said Rollo. He turned away. 

 

Danata took hold of Kulai’s long hair as the girl knelt. She drew it back, exposing the roots as Mishka made ready to use the sharp shears. Hair is vitally important to women. It is their pride and joy. I remembered how distraught women were on Earth if they suffered from medical hair loss. A woman took hair loss much harder than a man might, and, here on Gor, for a Free Woman to be shorn, like a slave is shorn, well, there is no coming back from that. Her life would be ruined for years to come. 

 

“Stop!” Heads turned as I suddenly cried out. I strode forward, pulling the ribbon of courtship from inside my tunic where I still had it. “You cannot shear this woman’s hair.”

 

Kulai gazed up at me, a look of hope burning in her eyes.

 

“Stand back, Roland of Newark, this no longer concerns you,” said an angry Svetlana who held the rope tied to Kulai’s wrists.

 

“But it does. I mean to bind her hair.” I raised the ribbon of courtship in my right hand. There was suddenly cheering and applause from the men who formed a circle around the clearing. “It is my right, I believe?” I turned in a full circle so that every man and every woman could see the ribbon that I held. 

 

And from somewhere behind me, I heard an anxious Rollo suddenly ask, “does this mean we might get a fish tonight, after all?”